How To Properly Critique A Painting-Randomly Generated Topic

There is a very specific procedure that must be followed in order to properly critique any painting.
Now, because I'm such an awesome person, I'm going to teach you the procedure, so you don't look like a fool. 


Step 1:  Find a painting.
Step 2: Say something that sounds proper.  I recommend you just choose a word off of your list of manners and say it with a British accent.  Everything sounds proper with a British accent.  Every. Thing.
Step 3:  Go "Hmmmmmm", "Ahhhhh", and-if you're feeling wild- "I seeeeeee"
Step 4:  Tilt your head to the side ever so slightly. 
Step 5:  Make a comment about fruit.  Because every piece of art involves fruit.  Some random scientist proved it.  I promise.  Example:  "The banana-ism reference really brings out the peach in that cow's eyes."
Step 6:  Find another painting and repeat.


If that's too much for you, here are some simpler options that real, breathing, actually existing, true people have said.


Jennifer: "HUGATTACK!!!!"

Noah: "?"

Another Emma: "I dunno"

There you have it.  Now that you're brilliant, go be successful at everything because you can critique any painting! :D